Motherhood…Unprepared

Have you seen this about the Casting Call for babyGap & GapKids? I know we don’t have a chance, but I thought I’d enter both Henry & Steven. I mean, how cool would it be to have a kid with Down Syndrome featured prominently in their ads? I think that’d be awesome. Plus, Steven has the most amazing eyelashes in the history of eyelashes, so I had to include him, too. Here are the shots I sent them…

What do you think? I know the one of Steven has face paint on, but the photo had to be in the last 3 months and this was the best shot I’ve got of him in that time. His eyes are sparkling and he’s smiling. We’ll see. Probably nothing will come of it.

Go on over there & submit your kid, too!

Poor Henry. He got a little hurt at school today. One of his teachers was taking him off the spinning board and caught him in the nose with a fingernail. She felt AWFUL. He’s fine though. Just looking a little piratical now.

Poor baby.

wordless wednesday

We came home from grocery shopping yesterday evening to see this helmet sitting outside the front door. We figured Uncle Eric had been over and dropped it off for himself and that he’d be back later to add it to his stuff. Tonight, however, Steven wanted to call Uncle Eric, so Dad did. Uncle Eric said he’d dropped that helmet off for STEVEN. Whoa. Talk about a happy boy.

He put this right on and was barely able to contain the overwhelming excitment on his face. He even happily posed for pictures. He walked into his room and said, “I feel special…” kinda quietly to himself.

“I’m going to keep this helmet for all of my life,” he says. “Then, when I die, I’m giving it to MY son.”

Thank you, Uncle Eric. You couldn’t possibly have known how much this would mean.

How nice is this?? Jen from So, I Started a Group, sent this to me:

She says it’s “a token of her love for my blog”. So, I’ve got that goin’ for me. Thanks, Jen!

How do you tell your sister that her fascination with mythical creatures doesn’t sit well with you?

Use a Dymo labelmaker and make a sign sitting right next to the computer where she can’t miss it.

Then dance around, making faces.

All while your little brother obliviously smacks at Moose & Owl on Noggin.

This is also posted on my other blog, Motherhood…Unscripted , because I think today is that important.

I was thinking about what I wanted to say today. I went back to something I wrote in 2004 and, for the most part, it still describes how I feel. So I’m just going to repost it today. My prayers go out to those who lost someone 7 years ago. May God bless your family and continue to help you in your lives.

Here I am, sitting in my garage waiting patiently for customers to come & buy my trash.  3 years ago on this day, I sat plastered in front of the TV, tears & disbelief streaming down my face as I watched our country change forever. Our feeling of security, untouchableness, normalcy shattered in a matter of a few minutes. I’ve never before felt so out-of-control, so unable to DO anything in my life. Maggie was in preschool, Steven was 4.5 months old. I realized that their world was no longer safe. I guess part of me always felt that because we were blessed enough to live in the United States rather than in Israel or Bosnia or Ireland, we’d never have to deal with the repercussions of terrorism. I wouldn’t have to worry that some crazed “religious” fanatic would show up at my kids’ school or daycare with plastique strapped to his back. It’s amazing how insular we think we are.

I’m really just thinking back to that day - so many of us had our little crystal worlds shattered that day. I’m fortunate that I didn’t lose anyone I loved - or even knew - that day. But so many people did. So many women lost their husbands. So many men lost their wives. So many parents lost their children. So many children will never meet their fathers. People they loved. People they adored. People they took for granted, for which they’ll never forgive themselves. People whose last words to their loved one were angry or hateful or nagging or frustrated. What they wouldn’t give for one last moment with that person, just to say, “I love you” or “I’m sorry”. Forever lost because some psycho thinks they’ll spend eternity with fresh-faced virgins because they took out the infidels. It makes me sick.
As I watched the towers crumble, I was aghast. I’d never seen anything like that before. I know it can’t compare with actually being there - hearing the rumble, smelling the smoke, running from the debris - but my mind was blown. How could it happen? How could these HUGE buildings just….fall? It seems to me to defy all the laws of physics….but then again, the act itself defied all the laws of everything, so there ya go.
What really has me concerned today is how quickly we as a country have seemed to forget. I remember 3 years ago how we rallied together as a nation, decrying these acts, pulling in on ourselves for protection, seeking comfort in one another, calling for retribution - if not justice. A simple 3 years later, we’ve forgotten all that. We all praised Mayor Guiliani & President Bush for their swift action, calming presence and assuredness. Today, the hatred spewed toward our president is simply mind-boggling. This man took swift & decisive action against a group of people who have pledged to destroy our way of life. They HATE us. They want us all dead. And they’re willing to do ANYTHING to accomplish it. I don’t know what greater example they need to show. They flew 3 of our PASSENGER JETS - our simple mode of travel from here to there - into buildings FILLED with people. Buildings filled with moms, dads, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, sons, daughters, wives & husbands. People who simply went to work trying to provide for their families. People who were planning to go to the movies that night, or see their child’s play or grab some Chinese & watch Leno. These weren’t soldiers or militia. They were regular people like you & me. And these people burned them alive. When’s the last time you saw a plane up close? They’re BIG. And filled with very flammable jet fuel. Can you imagine being on the upper floors of these buildings, looking out the window and seeing a PLANE coming at you? RIGHT at you? Realizing in those few seconds that there’s nowhere to hide, nowhere to go, no way to say goodbye? Can you imagine how they felt as the plane BURST through their walls? For those who didn’t die right away, can you imagine the fire? The smoke? What on earth were they experiencing that caused them to believe that JUMPING from 90 floors up was the better choice? This is just the tip of the iceberg. I could go on for hours about what people must have been thinking & feeling. Three years ago, we ALL felt this. We ALL wanted justice. Now, all I see are people filled with a hatred for our president that is Biblical. They want to KILL him. They joke about how stupid he is, hurtful things the want to do to him. It’s disgusting to me.

Our president has done nothing more than what is necessary to assure the safety & security of our nation. His actions have removed a racist, sexist government from power that killed, maimed, tortured, burned, and otherwise oppressed THOUSANDS of his own people. I thought we were against that. Y’know, human rights violations?? Aren’t we supposed to try to eliminate that when we can?? OH. I forgot. It’s only when a DEMOCRATIC administration does this that it’s okay. When a Republican administration does it, it’s bad. The Taliban oppressed every woman in the country, every single day. These women were STONED. They were BURNED. It was okay for their husbands to kill them because another man LOOKED at them. Where was N.O.W.? Where were all these feminist groups to decry this & support our removal of this government?

Then there’s Saddam. The crimes against humanity committed under this cretin’s regime are too numerous to count & too horrific to consider. The things he & his family did to the people they governed…it makes me cry. For crying out loud, his son KILLED their Olympic athletes because they didn’t win. They murdered thousands of their own people for speaking out against the government, saying the wrong thing or just looking at them funny. He professed over & over & over & over again how he wanted to kill us & our president. Other administrations had opportunities & tried to get rid of him & either failed or let the opportunity pass. WE GOT HIM. HE IS GONE. HIS SONS ARE DEAD. THEY WON’T HURT ANYBODY ANYMORE. Where was Amnesty Int’l.? Where were all these other human rights groups who whine & moan about atrocities committed against humanity? They’ve been strangely silent through all this. On one hand, we’ve stopped acts that they speak out & work against daily, so that’s good. On the other hand, they’re not supposed to like anything our president & his administration does, so that’s bad. So, rather than speak out supporting the “evil Bush regime”, they’ll just not say anything. The hypocrisy is stunning.
The reports also say we’re close to getting bin Laden. How is that BAD? Explain that to me. How is it BAD that we’re eliminating murderous despots? I don’t get it.

Anyway. Wow. I’ve ranted enough for today. I’m so proud of our men & women in combat right now. I’m so thankful that they’re sacrificing themselves to make our country & other countries safer. I wish I could thank them all personally. Because what they’re doing is making our lives a little better. And, more importantly, it’s making the lives of these poor oppressed people MUCH better.
May God richly bless them.

It FINALLY came - Henry’s first day of school. I couldn’t believe how late they started, but it finally came. He was really happy to be back. The coolest part was that right now there are only 2 kids in the class. Yay! There will be more coming as the year progresses, but this couldn’t be better. He’ll get one-on-one for now until we can get the IEP and have a full-time aide.

He has the same teacher and therapists as last year, so everyone was happy to see him when he came in. Here’s his OT saying “hey”

He hugged her at first, but by the time I got the picture, he was all, “no love, babe.” He marched right into the classroom and hit his favorite place. The bookshelf.

He loves those books - there are so many animal ones, so he just takes them all down and looks at them, then tosses them over his shoulder for the plebes to pick up. I walked Henry over to his new classmate, Evan, to meet him and say hi. Henry did not care. It’s very cool to have another little guy with Down Syndrome in with him. Evan’s a super-cutie with a great smile. I hope they become friends. Or as friendly as they’re able to be.

When I picked him up, we got a great report. Miss Ally said he did great. He participated in the activities, sat in circle time, sang the songs and kept his glasses on until they went outside. “He really grew up over the summer,” she said. I was very encouraged and happy! I think things are going to go really well for him this year!

A couple weeks ago, I was motivated to write a post on my other blog about how we as parents changed from “parents” to “entertainment directors”. And how annoyed I am by it. If you want, go on over & read it here . It’s okay. I’ll wait till you come back. Go ahead.

Now that you’ve got the background, I want to expound on that a little bit. I’ve been thinking more about it and had a couple things spark even more thought. The first thing was my husband. He recently has made a career change - from an attorney to a high school teacher. He talks a lot about the kids he’s been teaching. He’s absolutely blown away by today’s kids’ lack of critical/independent thought.  Somehow, we’ve moved from teachers actually TEACHING about a subject, to teachers spoon-feeding the kids exactly & only what’s going to be on the test. They aren’t requiring the kids to actually READ the textbook - instead, the teacher does it and hands out his/her notes to the students. With every concept or fact, all the kids want to know is “will this be on the test?” They have no desire or understanding of a need for learning for the sake of knowing something. That, maybe, you need to have knowledge beyond the multiple choice questions on the test in 2 weeks. And, when it comes time for the test, they expect to be told EXACTLY what will be on it. That’s how they view a review day. Not just quickly going over concepts and stuff, but being told only the things that will appear on the test. And, God forbid they should have to write an essay question’s answer.

When did this happen? When did we become like birds? That we, the adults, are just supposed to do all the chewing and then just spit it all into their mouths? When did we stop requiring, or even encouraging, THOUGHT. Making kids use their brains to figure things out, work through a problem and think for themselves?? No wonder we’re such a lemming-like culture. We turn on CNN or FOXNews or whatever and just let someone else tell us what to think. We don’t research anything ourselves or try to learn anything ourselves. We just take what we’re told as truth and memorize it.

I think I know when this started happening. Around the time that parents started scheduling every free moment of our childrens’ time. They don’t PLAY anymore, they go from scheduled activity to scheduled activity with time for homework and eating. And what are the scheduled activities made up of? Very planned events/practices. Whether it’s soccer or band or dance or whatever it is; you go, you warm-up, you do one planned exercise and then another and then work on a planned routine/scrimmage and then you’re done. And you never think independently or use your imagination. When you go home, if you have “free time”, you play PS3 or watch TV. And what do these do? Take you through pre-programmed games/activities/programs that do all the thinking for you.

When do we learn to THINK? Kids don’t use their imaginations anymore which, when you think about it, is what develops into critical thought and independent thinking. If you don’t know HOW to think, how do you think?

This actually really concerns me. Even my own kids have less imaginative play than I did as a child, and they have quite a bit. They get bored and expect me to think of activities for them because they haven’t developed imagination enough. I know a lot of that is grown out of, but I think we need to be really returning to more free play that doesn’t involve a controller or a digital signal.

I don’t know - what do you think? I know this is a problem, I don’t know if I’ve nailed it down right. I really want my kids to be excellent at thinking for themselves. Being critical and not taking things at face value. Developing their own opinions based not on what they’re TOLD but on what they THINK. Because how can we as a society/culture hope to find the “new” and the solution to problems if we don’t know how to think? How to back up from a problem and find a new way in? There is more in life than the “right answer” to get an A on a test. Y’know?